Just Say It Already …

Published July 15, 2019 by tindertender

On my way home this evening I saw a homeless man walking. He looked to be in crisis, as he was open mouthed crying. I wanted to turn around and speak to him but my instinct reminded me you cannot be certain of another’s mental state, especially given his appearance.

In these instances I really feel helpless. I see humanity suffering so much, even here at home, and it feels as though there is nothing I can do … except continue to give ‘space’ to certain things on my sites, and in my heart.

Do you suppose there really IS a god? I’m not talking about some imposter who wants to be king of the hill and rule the will of everyone, I mean someone who actually loves humanity and other life?

You know, I think it is about time I convince myself to be pissed off. I came to this life in childlike form, as did all of you, FULL of love to give and it seems as though every which way a person turns some jack wagon starts throwing punches, left, right … sucker punches, mental mind warps … you name it, from the human aspect as well as from those beyond time. If anyone has a right to be extremely pissed it is me … and ALL other humans who had their love squashed and shredded from an early age to now. I call extreme bullshit on this corrupt system, on planet and off … sum bitches.

My goal in life is two fold: #1: Reach a point where no one can tell me what to do, and #2: Learn as much as I can, about as much as I can. Eventually, maybe soon, I might add a #3 having something to do with love and stuff.

Now, number two has been a goal since I can remember. It had to have come on at a very young age. Not quite sure where it came from, but it could be why I tend to touch on a lot of topics in life. Number one has only recently been added. I’ve always had this issue, but only now have decided to acknowledge it, claim it, and vow to change how I approach life in its regard.

There is so much history here that stretches back through time, to the beginning of time its self. Not only that of countries or entire civilizations, but the histories of every single person that has ever been born and contributed to life in this intermingled existence we share. The absolute richness of the ‘heritage net’ that sometimes crosses the path of our own can be mind boggling, and sometimes mind blowing. (The English language, gotta love it).

Use of the word ‘beautiful’ has become casual and is too often used as a very shallow descriptor. Isn’t there something with a little more depth? Actually, to say something or someone is beautiful can be considered an insult. I know people are extremely intelligent with access to an enormous amount of descriptive language, yet so often choose a word so shallow, over used and lacking depth, or true meaning.

Here’s the thing … I love the word beautiful. When I say something is beautiful I really mean it, and sometimes I mean it so much my eyes leak. My repetitive use of the word probably denotes my limited use of the language, or lack of ‘schooling’, but it is one of my favorites. (I’ve been noticing the polarity in my views about things, or any other aspect of my being).

Mostly I’m all for replacing the word when it comes to describing the female human. This quick, feed the ego, Adrenalin flow, rush, crash, and move on is completely destroying the opportunity for healthy relationships. Unfortunately, there is a lot of pain in this world in need of a hug … and also unfortunately it isn’t always a hug one receives.

There’s much discussion about what must be done to ‘save’ ourselves. Many questions are out there stewing, but not really many plans. If there are, they seem to getting muted somehow, or I’m just not seeing them.

Amid all the chaos being stirred up I’m content to be in a fairly ‘stable’ position. We all know that nothing stays motionless though. The job, the housing, the relationship, the car, the body, the mind and so on. Those reprieves between crap experiences are fabulous! And I do not think anyone could survive without them. (Or is it a moment of crap in between giant loads of goodness?).

I sense a mood shift coming on as I consider a musical genre change. Thinking I need to get a little circulation going.

May the information for your mind and life expansion always be presented to you in the exact timing you need. It’s almost crazy how well that seems to work out. Truth is, sometimes it takes 40 + years of trying …

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