I’m wondering what you’re waiting for. Is it strange that I should wonder that?
I’m wondering if I’ve ever truly loved … I’m inclined to think rather, that I was very good at ‘needing’ which is why I had to lose what I thought was love … so I could shed the need.
To love should be done without the need to chain another to their side, that’s my perception anyhow … now.
I’m curious if I would ever get to the point of loving without the need to cling, or need. I’m curious about that, but am also aware that while being ‘young’ is the perfect time for love, when older and perhaps full of loves and loss, to come to the conclusion that to love ones self is all that is needed is where the true blessing is born.
And yet now there’s room for much more … wild epiphanies.
Shock waves to the nervous system … over and over again, from the beginning. Emotions flow like a river. This river of life is amazing! Have you ever experienced anything so vivid?
Often these emotions flow, as in one song to the next … in minutes. Every single emotion … in waves, spinning, intense. It’s amazing to be in the midst of this tornado of shifting emotions, this tornado that makes up life. It’s incredible being the tornado. How many years will it spin?
I catch myself thinking a thought and I say instead, no … I can live right now and be extremely happy.
I think of what life must be like outside of the body. Our nervous system and all of our senses create a specific combination of experiences which involve emotion, intellect, and everything that is who we are, wrapped into one solid event, followed by another, and another. I’m curious if those outside of body are capable of having intense emotional responses to stimuli, considering they are not dwelling in a mass of nerves and flesh. If thoughts weren’t affected by the senses and inner responses to things … would it be boring? Would there be sufficient input and output to fully appreciate the moment?
Could it be this life in flesh is a crash course in learning? The knowledge we gain through wearing the many hats donned through this life couldn’t be greater otherwise … or could it? Since I cannot remember life before I came here, I cannot say for certain.
I have been picturing my brother-in-law who showed me three days after he left this earth that being unbound from gravity is quite fun, as he bungy jumped horizontal through trees in a forest … as a young, strong man once more. Well, he was having a blast, so perhaps intense emotions actually are experienced after the body quits us.
One can hope. And one can hope the coming experience will be joyful. It seems it may very well be.