While you continue looking for that which you seek, be certain you do no harm along the way. You cannot force anyone to take on the role that you desire them to. While you try to create a situation or event, if you harm anyone in the process it only serves to solidify the situation you try to break free from.
The one you seek will find you in good time, when they are ready. When they do, then you will gain what you long for.
If you continue to cause harm in other life forms and minds, you only delay the outcome … with potential that the outcome will be the opposite of what you need.
Be definite in your actions, do no harm. Otherwise your dilemma may never change for the better, only increase what you are currently experiencing.