Stubborn ~ Willful ~ Human

Published February 12, 2018 by tindertender

From the approximate age of 4 or 5, I have been determined to make my own decisions, about what I would wear, and what I would do. I still remember the day I told my mother I would wear ‘this’ and not what she had planned for me. It snowballed from there.

Stubborn_3At the age of 15 I ‘got’ a boyfriend, who told me what to wear, what to do, and how to even wear my hair. At first I wanted to please him, but the more abusive he became, the more I hated this invisible thumb on my life, and I rebelled. He became more physical in his attempts to control me, and I fought back, intensely, having to leave town for he knew not when to stop and my very life was in danger.

This was only the beginning of understanding. You see, at first I thought it was only humankind that wanted to do manipulation, but now know that we are all just pawns, given a certain set of circumstances to test our reactions and our ability to handle stressful situations.

Stubborn_1There are others who hear not only what we say, but what we do not say as well … those thoughts we do not give audible words to. Not only that, they see our dreams as well. I know a man who thirty years ago told me he knew me better than I knew myself. I suppose it was true to a certain extent, however he still did not know my thoughts unless I told him, and he was not aware of my dreams.

These others, they know the three parts of a person, indeed, they know all about us, even those things we’ve forgotten. They know our waking verbal self, our waking non-verbal self, and our sleeping self. They watch, they listen, they discuss among each other our strengths and our weaknesses. They observe as we face our trials, and they see how we treat each other, in calm times, and in times of intense stress. Our hearts are known without any misconstrued stories.

mindful selfIn the silence of your mind are you working to build a compassionate life, or are you scheming the next steps in order to ‘pull one over’ on someone? Are you trying to be kind, or are you practicing some sort of revenge for perceived wrongs? All of these things do not go unseen, unknown.

Those who go through life without delving deep into their own being, projecting harm into the world, albeit mostly unconsciously, they will need to come back and try again, for they obviously haven’t got what it takes to merge with the whole which is in constant connection and awareness. Chaos does not work in a situation where they must be listened to at all times, not if one hopes to have a peaceful atmosphere.

And those ‘ones’ wish for peace. Which is why we face these trials. It is important to forgive, to release emotions which cause chaos in the mind and to practice calm responses and not extreme reactions which do more harm than good.

time bombJust yesterday I had to sever ties with a person who works very hard to create chaos in the world. I understand, for I was once an angry person who did the same. It is not something I choose to practice any longer though, it hasn’t been for nearly two decades. I instead wish to practice and see if I can be a person of peace, just as thoroughly as I was a person of chaos. It’s a personal challenge, and not done because ‘someone’s listening’. I honestly wish to see if I am as good at creating good with thoughts, words and actions as I was at creating harmful words, thoughts and actions.

Many people think God hears their prayers, when spoken and when thought. Yet these same people are in denial that He also hears everything else that they say and think, they believe that their actions go unseen unless they personally call in His attention. Or perhaps they think they have the freedom to behave as poorly as they wish for they ‘believe in a savior’ so have a ‘pass’ on bad behavior.

CreatorReality is, no one is without what mankind calls sin. No one. However, ALL of mankind has free will and the strength to become more than they were before, bearers of peace and healers of the world. They also have capacity to be destroyers of all that is good, and they can watch while that ‘good’ recovers and persists even through all that bullshit. Watch as true strength is seen in a continuation of forgiveness and release, watch as the sun shines down on their heads and they notice it, and relax into it. All the while chaos will stew and concoct plans for destroying this.

It is seen, observed, and discussed by those who are not seen by human eyes, by those who ultimately decided whether or not they wish to reside with us in the heavenly realms, out there in the multi-verse.

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