In my life it has been made clear time after time that I am not quite what someone else wants in their life. I have often berated myself, accusing myself of not being good enough. I have experienced much pain due to rejection.
In my now it has been made more clear than ever that although I may not possess the qualities others perceive might benefit their lives, I do have every quality that can benefit my own.
A life lived in the attempt to be all that others think I should be has led to much heartache, for I will never be able to live up to so many peoples differing ideas about what that looks like. Better to work towards pleasing ONE (me) than the many.
I have shut the door, for now, on folks who are not willing to keep it open for me. Instead of always trying to enter their lives and be what is pleasing to them, and being rejected, I stop trying, and it is apparent they have no intention of trying to meet half way. Too much of myself winds up in disappointment as rejection of my personality is stated and made clear, so I focus on loving me. Who can do it better?
I have lost a lot of time training to be my best friend, while trying to be that to others, and failing. As time on this earth is not foreseen or guaranteed, I will not waste any more of it. Loving others from a distance, while loving myself up close and personal, is where this life is going to be spent.
Those who feel the same about the environment and other topics I care deeply about, will be there. SO … focusing on issues that are important to me, ME being one of them, and reclaiming the wasted energy of attempted people pleasing, will allow room for those who are of the same capacities as myself.
With patience and honor for self, I provide nurturing in my home, and when that cup runeth over, it will spill goodness into the outer, for that is what I cultivate here.