“I wonder what it would be like if people
just loved each other.”
This is the thought she had for days prior to being relieved of the burden of anger. For years she carried a heavy load, weighing her down. She was fed up with the seemingly unjust life she was born into. She was indeed angry, she was hurting through and through. This pain she carried leaked into the world, it got on everything, but the day the load lifted she felt lighter, she actually felt the burden leave her shoulders, she grew taller.
She found that forgiveness came easier, but damage was done. Those who felt her pain over the years cannot seem to shake the old her, and embrace the new. They do not see she no longer carries the burden of anger, and that she no longer lashes out attempting to assuage her suffering by dumping it on them, or others. They do not see her concerted efforts to do what nice people do.
She continues to work on the most important thing of all ~ forgiveness of herself. She looks very deep into her wounds, she removes the venom from them, and keeps them clean while they heal. Combating this poison is difficult for it has embedded itself into her. She is consistent in dressing the wounds, and they slowly heal.
It is sad that she need to love from a distance those who she caused suffering in the past. Because they cannot see the new her, they insist she hasn’t changed, the memory of the venom clear in their minds. It is important that the proper message be told in her life, and that is the knowledge of who she is becoming … not who she once was. She sheds the memory, she sheds the opinions of the past, she refuses to wear these labels any longer.
Embracing the new self she is creating, she improves on the efforts to become more than she was before. She longs to build a kinder, gentler world and she knows that it begins in her own heart and mind, in her own life. She knows she must be willing to be that which is needed, and it must start in her personal space, she must walk the walk.
She may stumble periodically, however each time she picks herself up, the footing of the new life becomes more sure, the relief becomes more firm in her mind and body, in her heart. Every day she begins again, finding ways that will help her to continue shedding this old persona.
She is a creator, a powerful force,
and it is seen in the way she changes her life.