I awoke at 3am, after a very restless night of sleep. Not so much because I was afraid I would sleep in. I was dreaming of survival, and making plans.
Where will I end up … really?
Crazy they call me, and two months of watching propaganda on all that’s going on will do that to a sensitive person. Is it a bad thing? No … I think it was most likely necessary to get my eyes and mind open to reality.
Anyhow, here I sit at 4:52am. It takes an hour to get to work, and I start at 7am. So here I am babbling on an on again.
I imagine my husband is going to be so relieved to have the house to himself again! He would never say it, but now he won’t have me saying anything about anything for 12 hours. Lucky fella. I think he said he’s going to pack some stuff. We’re supposed to move in May, just don’t know exactly when yet.
For many months now I have not been certain of anything in life. My husbands health, my job, where we are going to live … and now there is a trust issue and an insecurity issue I must come to terms with in my own mind regarding employment.
I am looking forward to seeing old co-workers. Even still with the knowledge that at any moment things have the possibility of shifting and changing.
I wonder if life is about that … learning how to grow, shift and change … to flow with life rather than attempt to swim upstream. When the wind blows, the tree bends and moves with its current, like a beautiful dance. And I believe that is what life is to become, after we figure it out and get out of our heads, looking at the much bigger picture.
A Dance …. a beautiful hand in hand, whole body, mind and spirit, Dance.
It is 5:06am now. If I leave, I’ll be nearly an hour early. I suppose that would not be a bad thing considering I do not know what happened to my work station once I was laid off. I may need to put things together and re-familiarize myself with passwords and such.
I’ve convinced myself, so am signing off for now … but as the saying goes, “I’ll be back.”